The family version of 3 strikes and you're out: Doesn't exist apparently

I have to keep this vague in order to not name the guilty.  Some things that just go down are unacceptable and frustration comes out and there's little else you can do but blog.


I'm used to my hard and fast rule of three strikes and you're out.  My mother advises me that in family terms it doesn't exist. 


No matter how many times you get cancelled on, snubbed, discarded, "educated," and suffer the stupidity of family, you cannot completely ban them from your life.


Damn.


I was kinda hoping to go back to my drama-free life that was up to my standards.  According to my mom, it doesn't work that way.


Damn.


I enjoyed a life prior to my wedding that was nearly drama-free, now I'm subject to People of Wal-Mart" tactics to start family fights and I'm trying my damnedest not to encourage anything.


I want to give back gifts that come with strings, I want to stop being "educated" on how to properly behave to a woman I wouldn't want my children subject to, etc.


I don't need to be educated how to handle my life, I can already do that.  If you have to have your damn finger in every pie, then go find another damn pie.  I'm not having you dip into my life without my consent.


Yes, today is foul language in the blog, sorry.  I'm seriously frustrated.

1500 pageviews: Thank you, I am honored

Thank you to all that continue to read on.

I can tell you these last few months have been somewhat hectic.

I swear they need a Looney bin for brides after the wedding.  So many things going in so many directions, so many things to be planned, and so many things to manage.  I get the Bridezilla factor now.  If I didn't have so much background in this stuff, I would probably lose it too, and nearly have.

I am thankful that my event planning, menu planning and cake planning were all in one.  Made my appointment schedule so much easier, and everyone that is involved in the vendor aspects of the wedding are super excited as they get to use their talents for such a special event, and in ways that they had wanted to maneuver their talents.  My cake decorator is actually stringing sugar pearls for my cake (he's always wanted to do that), the chef for the restaurant is building my menu from scratch not from the menu (with his signature flair), and the photographer has always wanted to shoot at that venue.

I can honestly say everyone involved is just as excited as I am, and the ways that things have been brought together have just been magical (artistic consciousness??), but it's all coming together as I want and how I hope.  Excited beyond words.

Hugs and love my friends and those who follow me.

I'll post more dating stuff as it comes up from input I get, but it sounds like the reverse of this blog just got turned into a movie. LOL

Tree of Life: the family interactions.

For some reason family dynamics never go as you imagine.  Thanks to our (the general single society) handy dandy habits of falling in and out of love, the family tends to get wary of whomever you drag home and then the fun begins.

It's been a bumpy road so far interacting with family, on both sides, just mine was less so.  With the side of the groom, there are sooooo many more family members to interact with, and for some reason a matriarch who gets offended that I won't spend time with her, but then finds some reason for not spending time with me or some barrier of another sort.  And most of the time the barrier she chooses is rather offensive to me.

For some reason, there has been lack of information flowing from her side as to getting things on calendars.  We are supposed to be going up to the family valentine party (the first in family history, I might add) this weekend.  I was honored with an invitation from a church lady at my own church to attend a program her daughter is putting on, and it's the same day.  I asked my groom to ask his mother what time the party was due to a possible conflict.  What returned as a response was a lot more of a lecture about the importance of family than about simply saying what time the party was.  I texted back to her on his phone, stating that it was me of course, that we were not intending to skip the family party, but that we were not informed on the time of the party, and thus attempted to see if I could squeeze both events into the day, but that since we had confirmed that we were going to the family party, that we would certainly be there.  All that response was met with was a "Thanks so much."

I realize she's trying to keep the family together, but the family will continue to have this disharmony as the family continues to grow and move away, it's normal.  I can't help it that I live an hour away and need to get things on the schedule in order for us to travel rather than being available on a whim.  I'm not one that will live directly behind a family member so that they can keep tabs on me or available at the drop of a hat.  Another brother and his wife live nearly 2 hours away, and it is more so important for them to know what's on the schedule too. 

There are a total of five children in this family, all with their own lives and dramas going on, and of which I have chosen not to get involved in all the family stuff as I try to plan the wedding, the food, the wardrobe, the guest list, the pre-marital counseling, the events I attend in regular life, oh, and also attempting to move two households in all this mess.

My own family situation is also a concern, I have a full family residence at my mom's residence as well, with other various concerns.  I really don't have the time to function on everyone's schedules, or entertain the drama.  I can invest in the people I can reach, and that's about where I draw my line. 

My groom and I are trying to really invest in our upcoming marriage, the friends we are making and investing in at this time, the family members that have extended invitations for visits, attending church, and working on home stuff.  I would really appreciate it if those who were requiring us to spend time with them made it a bit easier in this transition or at least just made things a bit more smooth in this whole situation.

And I would have appreciated that my invitations be taken up on rather than for me to show up and be ready to go, only to find out that plans have changed on a whim.  It's really upsetting that I spend so much time working on presenting myself well and then to have such a reception.