Tree of Life: the family interactions.

For some reason family dynamics never go as you imagine.  Thanks to our (the general single society) handy dandy habits of falling in and out of love, the family tends to get wary of whomever you drag home and then the fun begins.

It's been a bumpy road so far interacting with family, on both sides, just mine was less so.  With the side of the groom, there are sooooo many more family members to interact with, and for some reason a matriarch who gets offended that I won't spend time with her, but then finds some reason for not spending time with me or some barrier of another sort.  And most of the time the barrier she chooses is rather offensive to me.

For some reason, there has been lack of information flowing from her side as to getting things on calendars.  We are supposed to be going up to the family valentine party (the first in family history, I might add) this weekend.  I was honored with an invitation from a church lady at my own church to attend a program her daughter is putting on, and it's the same day.  I asked my groom to ask his mother what time the party was due to a possible conflict.  What returned as a response was a lot more of a lecture about the importance of family than about simply saying what time the party was.  I texted back to her on his phone, stating that it was me of course, that we were not intending to skip the family party, but that we were not informed on the time of the party, and thus attempted to see if I could squeeze both events into the day, but that since we had confirmed that we were going to the family party, that we would certainly be there.  All that response was met with was a "Thanks so much."

I realize she's trying to keep the family together, but the family will continue to have this disharmony as the family continues to grow and move away, it's normal.  I can't help it that I live an hour away and need to get things on the schedule in order for us to travel rather than being available on a whim.  I'm not one that will live directly behind a family member so that they can keep tabs on me or available at the drop of a hat.  Another brother and his wife live nearly 2 hours away, and it is more so important for them to know what's on the schedule too. 

There are a total of five children in this family, all with their own lives and dramas going on, and of which I have chosen not to get involved in all the family stuff as I try to plan the wedding, the food, the wardrobe, the guest list, the pre-marital counseling, the events I attend in regular life, oh, and also attempting to move two households in all this mess.

My own family situation is also a concern, I have a full family residence at my mom's residence as well, with other various concerns.  I really don't have the time to function on everyone's schedules, or entertain the drama.  I can invest in the people I can reach, and that's about where I draw my line. 

My groom and I are trying to really invest in our upcoming marriage, the friends we are making and investing in at this time, the family members that have extended invitations for visits, attending church, and working on home stuff.  I would really appreciate it if those who were requiring us to spend time with them made it a bit easier in this transition or at least just made things a bit more smooth in this whole situation.

And I would have appreciated that my invitations be taken up on rather than for me to show up and be ready to go, only to find out that plans have changed on a whim.  It's really upsetting that I spend so much time working on presenting myself well and then to have such a reception.