If you don't want to be found out, don't do it: living a life of integrity and honesty

This is my big pet peeve with people.  If you don't want to be found out, don't do it.  If I find out, I will tell on you.

Now, is it appropriate? Yes, when it hurts another human being.  If you are doing something that could potentially damage someone else or your child, you are darn straight I'm going to call you out on it.  Even if its to your partner, I sure as hell will tell on you if you are doing something unacceptable.

This goes back to my "Three Strikes and You're Out" policy, along with my "One Strike" list.  If you are cheating on your partner, or doing something that you wouldn't want them to find out about, then you shouldn't be doing it at all.  If you do anything to compromise her or your child, I will bring it to someone's attention.  It definitely won't be you, it will be the woman who is questioning your fidelity.

Recent events in which I spoke out and told the woman my solution was to cash in whatever she had from him, take the baby and sue him for child support, resulted in the offender going back to the source and trying to find out why I would say anything of that sort.  Gee dude, if I have to say something, I'm either concerned for the woman in the middle, the child you are the sperm donor for, or I'm concerned that she's going to the man I'm about to marry about very intimate details of her own relationship with you and telling her suspicions about what a piece of shit you are.

I don't tolerate much, and when I find out someone I've been seeing is trying to find something else, he's usually on the curb before anything happens.  Unfortunately, I only had one instance where that wasn't the case and he hid it well for quite some time.  He didn't get away with his awful treatment of me for long though.  I let him pay for a move of mine, and then he was given his walking papers about three weeks later.  And I kept the TV.

But if I hear that you are stepping outside of your own relationship, and she's concerned and asking other people, you are darn going to hear what I have to say.  If you put my family in the middle of it (in this case they both put my fiancé in the middle) then yes, I will speak up and say something.  I think cheating is rotten, and the people that do it should have their cheating bits ripped from them.  I don't find it respectful and I believe it teaches children unacceptable behavior and that they should put up with from their own partners.  I sincerely respect the reason people stay, but don't do it because of the person who cheated on you.  They don't deserve it.  If you come back to the relationship, you need to come back into it with standards you set for both of you in order to not have that happen again.

I can say that I nearly saw that happen with a family close to me, and I'm glad someone spoke up and said it was inappropriate before it went any further.  The recent events, we'll see.

People need to speak up a lot more about unacceptable behavior.  With all the diseases and consequences that ruining your relationship comes with, you should maintain integrity in your relationship or suffer the consequences thereof.