Wedding Checklist

I finally went over my wedding checklist, from a book I've had for years.  From their 1 year checklist, I've cleared 9 months of hurdles in less than 90 days.  Not too shabby.  Only thing now is to finish the last 3 months of tasks, which get a bit busier: decor ordering, marriage counseling, dress ordering (only thing I didn't achieve in that 9 months checklist), etc. 

Having worked for a stationary company, and having to read wedding etiquette and wedding checklists in order to assist brides in choosing stationary, has helped a bit while working on my own wedding. 

The wedding crazies continue, but having seen the checklist over a year, I feel good about how far I've gotten. :)

A Productive Snow Day: How I spent my snowed in days....

The fun part: I got stuff done.  The not so fun part: Not doing it with my fiancé.

I put up a little bit of spring to remind us what is to come, and the season in which my wedding is. 

I managed to be a little productive this weekend, while snowed in.  I ordered my small amount of invitations, my guest book, and a cooking product I've been eyeing for the last 6 months.  I got bored on Sunday, and started watching QVC.  They had the product I wanted on an easy pay.  How's that for trying to indulge but trying not to blow the entire wedding budget. LOL.

The wedding guest book, I used Shutterfly and uploaded my engagement photos and then placed them into a photo album I already designed.  Should be fun for the wedding. :)  It was on sale. 

The wedding invitations were awesome to order.  I started on Wedding Paper Divas, a company that works with Shutterfly for wedding invites, and they had a sale going on.  I decided to check Vista Prints, who had a better deal.  I got over 100 pieces for less than $55.00, for less than 20 invites.  Not too shabby.

Picking a minister was hard though.  Though I have many connections on ministerial options (there's a word for I know a lot of preachers, LOL).... I decided to go with one whose wife is someone I absolutely adore, and he's in a more advisable location for us to do marriage counseling.  Otherwise, if I had gone with my more traditional choices, we would have been trucking it to Mint Hill either on weekday afternoons, or weekends, depending on whose available.  At least with this minister, who I have a huge fondness for because of his darling wife, will be fun for the wedding, and will be halfway between us as we are in the middle of this transition.

The fun part:  I just found out the place I want to get my wedding dress from- a Chinese dress maker- just got sued in Federal Court for copyright infringement.  Dumb filing though- who on earth sues an international company in Federal Court, and then also sues on Fashion Copyrights.  Morons.  Like it's gonna do any good.

On the hunt for a Mother of the Bride Dress for my mom..... this is gonna get fun. :)

Crazy life, crazy wife-to-be: Wedding planning

My darling friends, blogging has been so not-on-my-mind this week.  I apologize.  It has literally been crazy.  Mailing lists, wedding invites, engagement photos, menu planning, apartment packing, moving, laundry and the majorly mundane all rolled into one.

If you are planning on getting married at any point in your life, get some reading in before any of it starts.  Trust me, it helps in the long run.  However, there is no telling what you can get yourself into until you actually get into it. 

Life this week has consisted of trying to stay afloat with appointments, shopping, traveling, hospital visits (family and friends), etc.  Mad house!

So, I apologize for not staying in the blog this week, just super smashing busy. 

Stay tuned, I'm sure I'll post something soon.  ~M

Praying for peace this morning

My world has been thrown upside down in the last several weeks, with the engagement, and living arrangements and all that.  Let's just say that some of the response hasn't been so easy to stomach.

This morning, I am praying for peace in the situation and for God's hand to move.  God knows that I want to follow what He wants for my life, and He knows what the situation itself requires. 

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding.  In all your ways, Acknowledge HIM, and He will make your path straight. 

Lord, may this prayer be heard and answered.  Lord please help this situation find peace and a soft resolution.  If I need to cover the minimal expenses to close this matter, then let it be.  Lord, allow a bright light in this person's life to guide them to the gracious answers and gracious response that this situation requires.  You know what this situation requires, what it needs to be resolved.  I trust in You, no matter what.  May Your Hand lead me.

Though there may be a lack of trust in the situation, I pray that You create the environment necessary for this situation to resolve smoothly. 

Alice Paul: A woman who knew what she wanted out of life

Happy Birthday Alice Paul.  American Women's Suffrage owes you a huge debt of gratitude.  Thank you for your hard work in a woman's right to vote, a woman's right to live her life as something other than property.  Thank you for making a difference.

If you are really interested, you would be in constant communication

This is your best weapon in the battle for the heart, if you are unable to be together.  Use it!

As Patti Stanger said, "You should be on his mind all the time."  "You should be on his calendar on the important nights of the week: Friday and Saturday."

Guys: If you actually like someone, don't play it cool.  Don't be their friend, don't just tip toe around them.  Do something about it.  If you really find someone interesting, you will make a point to be in their lives.

A friend of mine recently told me that a guy that she was interested in waited 10 days to call her while on a business trip.  Um, not a good footing there.  It gives us (women) time to rethink you.  If you don't want to be an afterthought, don't be.  Make a point to share some of your day with her, each day.

Don't be a pest, and respect her work time, but make sure you make a concerted effort to let her know you are on her mind, in a non creepy fashion.

Don't linger too long, you will be kicked to the curb if you wait too long.

If you don't want to be found out, don't do it: living a life of integrity and honesty

This is my big pet peeve with people.  If you don't want to be found out, don't do it.  If I find out, I will tell on you.

Now, is it appropriate? Yes, when it hurts another human being.  If you are doing something that could potentially damage someone else or your child, you are darn straight I'm going to call you out on it.  Even if its to your partner, I sure as hell will tell on you if you are doing something unacceptable.

This goes back to my "Three Strikes and You're Out" policy, along with my "One Strike" list.  If you are cheating on your partner, or doing something that you wouldn't want them to find out about, then you shouldn't be doing it at all.  If you do anything to compromise her or your child, I will bring it to someone's attention.  It definitely won't be you, it will be the woman who is questioning your fidelity.

Recent events in which I spoke out and told the woman my solution was to cash in whatever she had from him, take the baby and sue him for child support, resulted in the offender going back to the source and trying to find out why I would say anything of that sort.  Gee dude, if I have to say something, I'm either concerned for the woman in the middle, the child you are the sperm donor for, or I'm concerned that she's going to the man I'm about to marry about very intimate details of her own relationship with you and telling her suspicions about what a piece of shit you are.

I don't tolerate much, and when I find out someone I've been seeing is trying to find something else, he's usually on the curb before anything happens.  Unfortunately, I only had one instance where that wasn't the case and he hid it well for quite some time.  He didn't get away with his awful treatment of me for long though.  I let him pay for a move of mine, and then he was given his walking papers about three weeks later.  And I kept the TV.

But if I hear that you are stepping outside of your own relationship, and she's concerned and asking other people, you are darn going to hear what I have to say.  If you put my family in the middle of it (in this case they both put my fiancé in the middle) then yes, I will speak up and say something.  I think cheating is rotten, and the people that do it should have their cheating bits ripped from them.  I don't find it respectful and I believe it teaches children unacceptable behavior and that they should put up with from their own partners.  I sincerely respect the reason people stay, but don't do it because of the person who cheated on you.  They don't deserve it.  If you come back to the relationship, you need to come back into it with standards you set for both of you in order to not have that happen again.

I can say that I nearly saw that happen with a family close to me, and I'm glad someone spoke up and said it was inappropriate before it went any further.  The recent events, we'll see.

People need to speak up a lot more about unacceptable behavior.  With all the diseases and consequences that ruining your relationship comes with, you should maintain integrity in your relationship or suffer the consequences thereof. 

Dating: Things you don't do to meet a potential date...

Society has a set of "acceptable" parameters for meeting people.  Here's the list on where not to meet someone, or rather the definition of "creepy pick-ups:"

1) If you meet them at their job, don't stalk them.  They are there for a living, not to make a love connection.  Though they are always there, don't dominate their time trying to talk them up.  If they are a sever, you'll make your dinner really awkward, waste their time trying to make money, possibly get them fired, and if they are not interested and you keep coming back, you make their work environment very awkward for them.  DON'T DO IT.

*If you like them, leave them your number.  That's all that acceptable, period.

2) If they work in an awkwardly sexual job, don't go to their job.  I don't care if they invited you, that's CREEPY.  If they are a massage therapist, a stripper, work at Victoria's Secret, etc., don't visit them at their job.  Massage therapists are not hookers, and not looking to get labeled a hooker, don't put them in an awkward situation, they will call the cops.  Don't be "THAT GUY" that met his wife in a sexual environment.  If you want any respect or your future partner to have respect, don't visit her place of work.  Period.

3) Hanging around the Grocery Store.  This one gets to be a pain.  If you are just hanging around a grocery store, trying to talk up people, it's seen as you don't have enough to do in your life, and creepy.  Women go to the grocery store to collect food for their household, not to pick up some guy.  If you think someone is cute at the grocery store, write your number down on a piece of paper and ask for a moment of her time during her shopping trip.  Say "Pardon me, I just happen to notice how pretty you are, and would like to get to know you better when you aren't busy."  Being considerate of her time is huge.  Enough people try to waste a woman's time.  Have enough respect for her NOT to absorb her household chores time.

If you want to meet people, buy them a drink at a bar, go to a book store, go to your favorite places or try online.  But the listed places are especially off limits.  Take note.

To be at peace with yourself before you date.... it makes a difference....

This word is not the hippy connotation.  It is in fact the word that was preached throughout the Bible.  Let the Spirit bring you peace.  But also within that context, to know yourself is also to find peace.

If you can live with yourself, you can find peace.  If you are constantly in turmoil over who you are, what you do, who you are, what you identify, then you need to seek what you do want to be.  Find peace in your life with your job, your life, your hobbies, your friends, your energy, etc. 

I don't know about you, but I would rather have someone who is comfortable with who they are rather than someone who wants to get married to find their identity in who they can become.  Though usually it's typical that men and women gain social standing upon saying "I do."  You have to know who you are when you walk down that aisle rather than merely throwing yourself into a relationship merely to satisfy society.

I got to a point, before I met my fiancé, that I was comfortable if I never met "The One."  I could be the exciting spinster.  And it was a huge transition to even think of myself as "engaged."  Panic attack registered.  I just got to a point where I started planning my life as though it was just going to be me in this world, and that I was going to lead my life. 

And that's when it hit.  I met "him."

I can't say the results are the same for everyone, because everyone's love story is different.  But if you are still single, just get comfortable with yourself and brace yourself for the long haul, and enjoy life.  It'll happen when it's supposed to happen, but don't sacrifice your current social life for the lack of a date.  Go out and do something.