Online Dating Websites: Photos, Assets? or Liabilities?

A picture is worth a thousand words, right? Comments, statements, questions, and even thoughts.  So if a photo can say all of that, wouldn't you pick your online dating photo a bit more carefully?

Visual attractiveness is something like 75% of the process of dating.  If you don't visually appeal to the other person, you probably won't get a response back from someone you've contacted or you probably won't get another text or date.

Guys: This is particularly important for you.  If you wouldn't date a girl based on how her picture looks- gray hair, mole, drunk, etc, please don't post the same of yourself.  If you expect us to look our best, please do the same.

You wouldn't believe what is being posted lately and passed off as a visual of a possible date.


Let's range them from the slightly lame to the totally aggravating:

1)  The Slightly Lame: The picture that isn't yourself.  So far I have seen cartoons, superheros, tv personalities, and my all time favorite- the one that posted a picture of the blond kid from the first Karate Kid.

If you want a mature relationship, why would you start with something so juvenile?  Face reality and put your real picture up.

2) The "ask him/her for their picture" photo box.  Why would someone ask you for a picture of yourself when you are the one that is supposed to promote themselves?  Why take the extra step to block a photo that could potentially get you more dates if you only had posted yourself in the first place instead of asking people to ask you for your own photo?

This is a quick way to get deleted and not noticed. Thus, mission unaccomplished.

3) Sunglasses: Eyes are the window to your soul, the portion of your face that makes you look alive.  If the eyes are such a big percentage of the equation, why cover them up? Show off those lovely eyes and take off the sunglasses.

I noticed that guys look at eyes a lot, along with hair and shape and all that.  Take notes guys on what you are looking for, and turn that critique on yourself.

4) The vehicle picture:  So, are you trying to hook a gold digger? or are you promoting that you have your own ride?  Good girls don't care what you drive, so long as you have actual working and clean wheels.  Save that for another day.

If you are posting pictures of your vehicles, particularly new ones, sports cars, brand new trucks and motorcycles, it's merely an advertisement that you have some sort of loose cash lying around ready for the taking by a woman/man who clearly doesn't want to make any for themselves.  It happens on both sides of the gender fence.

5) Blurry pictures:  This is starting to climb the aggravation scale.  I see more blurry pictures than ever, even though we have more access to taking GOOD pictures than ever before.  Blurry pictures are not acceptable.  If you want pictures of yourself, have a friend take them for you, or get some professional ones made.  Clarity of a picture can say a lot.  A motto that has been in my family house for years: it takes so little to be above average.

Blurry also has a connotation of either taking drunk pictures or not caring about how you want to be projected in the digital age.  Remember, every picture you post could potentially end up on the internet somewhere else, make it a good one.

Another thing: if you wouldn't look at a girl's profile if she had a blurry picture, why are you asking us to do the opposite for you?

6) Group only pictures: how are we supposed to pick out who you are?  If there is only one picture, and it's a group picture, either note who you are in the picture, crop the picture to make as your primary photo, or ask a friend to take a headshot of you.  Make sure your marketing is clear.  Last thing you want is to get an email asking if you are the tall friend standing next to you.

7)  Photos taken from other photos: Yes, people can tell. No, it isn't good.  If you do not have a tech saavy background, find a friend who can help you post photos.  Taking pictures of pictures that have glass in the frames cause glare, and people know they are old.

Make sure to post something fresh and something clear.

8) A dark photo: Nothing says "hi" like a dark photo.  Most people will simply bypass your profile and move on.  There is no excuse for a dark photo, not with all the editing programs available online.  Go to Shutterfly.com or picmonkey.com to lighten your photos.

9) The photos with the previous partner: Nothing says more to a woman than half a picture.  Women know when there is a portion of the photo missing, and that there was a girl there.  I've seen anywhere from a daughter cut out, to a wife on a special night with her nails done cut out of photos so that the guy has a photo he can put up on the website.

For the most part, from the girl circles I travel in, women don't post those types of pictures.  We know that if we look like we have been in a relationship, we're not going to be thought of as "available."

Newsflash guys: Women don't like those photos.  We don't want to imagine you with another woman, and we know the feeling is mutual.

10) THE DRIVER'S LICENSE PICTURE: This is my absolute top aggravating photo.  Why on earth would you post a photo of yourself that the government took of you while you were in a public building?

Next time when you post a photo, ask yourself if you would want a critical family member to see it? If the answer is no, chances are your future partner would pass it up or not care to see it either.  Post good, clear and friendly photos.