Holidays: It sucks to be single for the holidays

Yes, the holidays when you are single suck.... totally sucks, but hey, I would rather be doing the holidays by myself than with a Grinch.

Yes, I suffered through that one year.  Would you rather have a quiet holiday, and you can buy whatever you wish, or would you rather be with someone who is so grinchy it makes holidays not worth having.

My ex was that way.  He felt that he didn't need to buy gifts for birthdays, Easter, Christmas, or celebrate major holidays because he worked enough for the family and that his everyday contribution was what was enough to share with them.  Bah Humbug.

I am now in a relationship, and it super sucks when your family or theirs, or better yet, both! don't want to believe that you are minutely serious relationship and they begin to prepare for the holidays with the exclusion of your partner.  Hurray for weirdness, awkwardness and family inclusion.

So, I'm going to totally avoid telling on people, but I think for the sanity of all involved be aware of whom you are bringing home.  Don't just bring them home to show them off.  If you aren't serious about staying with that person, don't include them in your family shindigs, no matter how minor.

*I knew someone who allowed a girlfriend, who was not a fiancée, in his grandmother's family funeral photos.... hurray....

Holidays can bring out the super tacky of behavior or can bring out inclusionary behavior, you pick.

I think for families of singles, be understanding that whom they bring home is their discretion to want to share that person with you.  If you know they are just putting on a show, put them out, but in general most people don't bring around someone that they aren't truly interested in.

Have enough grace and space to remember that if you were in their shoes, you would want them to include you.  Exclusionary behavior can be divisive and can hurt relationships far into the future. 

***and if you aren't the host or hostess, don't invite people for them.  It gets awkward when someone they didn't plan on shows up.  Just saying.

Cheers to being single during the holidays.  Be strong and shop til you drop.  Don't worry about this season.  It may suck, it may be awesome, but it's just a season in life.  Make it what you want it to be.