Ladies: The Challenge

There was a challenge for the guys, now there is a challenge for the ladies.  If you want a man to date with intent, you also need to do so.

If you want a guy to date you with intent, then you need to compose yourself like you intend to date with intent too. 

Don't be that girl that dresses up for the red light district, complete with hooker shoes, short skirts and lots of make up.  If you want a guy to take you seriously, dress and act like you want to be treated.

Ladies, compose yourself as ladies first of all.  A man knows what to do with a hooker, be something other than that.  Be someone who expects to be treated well, to expect a conversation, to expect doors to be opened for you, to have the bill paid by your date, and someone who brings more to the table than a drop dead gorgeous body and heels. 

I'm not saying to point that out to him, a lady doesn't criticize a man for their bad manners, but helps guide things.  Just wait until he makes the "duh" move.  *Most good boys already know how to do this without being prompted.  My man's mama trained him well.

Dress accordingly:  Dress according to the restaurant or event, not the man.  A man will always want a short skirt, 5 inch heels and hooker red lipstick.  A classy lady dresses according to the occasion- if it's a bar, jeans and a nice shirt; if it's a museum, a little more than that; tennis shoes only when necessary; and as little make up as possible.  If you have a furious flaw that you can't stand, then go ahead, but otherwise, as little as possible.  Good girls don't wear makeup you have to scrap off with a shovel at the end of the night.  No "Coyote Ugly" here.  Be real, be fresh, be yourself.

Appropriate discussions:  Hookers will talk about anything just to get paid.  Ladies discuss intelligent things, have a wide range of knowledge, hobbies, interests, and skills.  A lady keeps the discussion above board, is discreet when needed, and tries to guide the discussion back to things that are acceptable at a family dinner table when they have been diverted from. 

What you talk like will reflect on how he thinks about you.  If you talk trash, you stay trashy in his book.  If you can discuss non-trashy topics, he'll remember that.

What a man wants out of a good girl:  First of all, you don't have to be a good girl to compose yourself properly.  Everyone has a past by the time they are 25 or older.  However, if you want to be treated in a particular way, then act a particular way.  A man who is looking for a good girl is looking for someone to be his best friend, who can carry on a conversation, who can make him better than he is alone.  He's looking for someone who can take care of herself and her man with little effort.  A woman who can control her world rather than her world controlling her.

When at a restaurant:  Don't waste the time of your waiter- you aren't there to spend time with them.  Be prompt, be ready. Look at an online menu before you go so that you can be ready to roll and spend time with the guy you are dating rather than the menu and the waiter.  Know what you want to drink before you get there.  And know that if the date isn't what you thought it would be and you need to dash- pay at the bar and leave.  Be ready to foot your bill.  A lady is ready for anything.

When out and about: be ready to know something about where you are going.  Be his tour guide.  Know how to navigate where you are going.  *I took my new man to the Mint Museum.  I had been dying to see this fabulous chandelier there for years.  I had seen a documentary on the artist, and then I also knew a bit about art mediums and artists, so as we went through the museum, I could look at pieces and talk about them with him.  I turned him on to an art aspect that I love and adore.

I'm not suggesting to do that much research on art, if you aren't into art.  I just happen to have that much exposure to art, because I love it and have a college background in it. 

Take him somewhere that interests you.  If you like food, teach him about food; if you like shoes, take him to a shoe exhibition; if you like baseball, ... you get the idea. 

If you go shopping: Be conscious of what you are doing and what you are spending.  Only spend what you can feel comfortable spending if it was your own budget.  Letting him know you can manage your money is a huge turn on for guys.  *My guy when we go out shopping, I only let him spend about $100 on me at a time.  I can't emotionally go over that mark, unless I'm buying something planned. 

If there are big purchases to be made: discuss them first, do your research.  Don't walk into an expensive commitment without knowing what it is first.  (jewelry, cost of maintenance, big furniture- where does it go and function).  I already know that I cannot maintain a house on my own, so I rent.  I know I don't want to do Christmas yard decorations, so I don't.  I did my research on a collector's bracelet he wanted to get me so that I knew what I was looking it and not spending over what I was comfortable wearing on my wrist. 

If you are shopping for him:  Don't try to make him better than he is, just polish him up a bit.  If you don't like what you are working with, be a lady and separate yourself from someone you cannot work with, period, end of statement.  Nothing is ruder than trying to make him something he is not.

On the other hand, shop with him, see what he likes, see if he's ever tried something, and see what you can polish up.  Or just occasionally.  Don't try to force him to wear a suit all the time if he works in jeans and a t-shirt.

I will say this, if he buys you something, thank him and cherish him for the thought- even if it doesn't fit.  He made a huge effort to try, and that makes a huge difference.  My man did, and missed my size by about 4 sizes (too small).  I was touched, but I also told him what my actual size was and what I liked.... so, trying to guide him in the right direction.  ;)

Men like to be taken care of.  But here's the catch, they want to be taken care of properly, not in a fake way.  Be genuine, thank them, be verbal about your appreciation for them or find some way to let them know that you appreciate them for who they are.  Men are very motivated to hear words of encouragement when they are doing what you like, love or cherish.  Don't ever forget that. 

On a personal note, I absolutely suck at personal affirmation.  I am upfront and honest about it.  What I do instead, I buy him cards that can express that better than I can so that he can have a collection of loving words from me, on paper, to remind him that he makes my world grander than I was by myself. 

Just as much as Dating with Intention on the guys side is important, it is that much more important for a woman.  Don't be that girl that dates a guy for his money or assets, or future earnings.  Date him and cherish him for who he is.