After the First Date: The Waiting Game

So, now, the wait is on. 

Whether it's for the second date or a mere text, the wait is on.

So, there was a first date last night, with a guy.  He was very sweet, very enthusiastic, and very forthcoming with his hopes and dreams in regards to "us."

He saw me as I walked up, he was sitting in his car on the phone with a friend.  He realized I walked into the bar and didn't notice him.  He told me that the phone call went a little like this:  "She just walked in and didn't see me.  She's HOT!"  The friend asked "How's her butt?"  He said "Great!"  The friend asked "How's her front?" and he replied "Now, that's getting a little personal!" and then he later replied that it was pretty good too.  LOL....

We sat, we talked, we laughed, we shared food.  It was the first time he had calamari (I eat it when I go out).  It was a really good vibe. 

But the one thing I've learned over the years: Never put all your eggs in one basket, much less the first date. 

Bless his heart, he was definitely in the "Happily Ever After" mode.  I wish I had that much enthusiasm.  He was already planning kids.  He's a twin, so the genetics percentage discussion had to come out.  He said he had a lot of bad responses when he tells girls that because he is a twin, the likelihood of a first pregnancy having twins is really high.  My opinion: my age also complicates that, as the fact that as I age, multiples are also a factor.  Does that matter to me? Not really.  My spine surgeon might, but that's not a deal breaker for me.

He loved the way I looked, dressed, had all my "stuff" together with life.  We took a walk and talked and just enjoyed each other's company.  He was just gushing.  He said he would come back on Saturday for a second date.

The flip side:  My reserves were definitely on.  Why?

1) First date: I never know if there's going to be a second one.  I've been burned a lot when there is a second date anticipated.  Sometimes I'll ask, and then wait for the set up, and then it'll never happen.  Sometimes I'll wait a few days for the second date invite to come, and I get a presumptive message that "Hey, I really don't think it's going to work.  I just don't think this is what I'm looking for."- I got that the last time, what an idiot. 

2) Do I ever really know what the real intentions are?  I found out 18 months into a relationship that my money (what little I made) was what he was hedging on.  He would pay for high end meals, then expect me to pay for high end dessert and coffee adventures afterwards, every weekend.  After a second trip to Amelie's, at my expense, I finally said "enough."  Sometimes I get the feeling that major losers are trying to get a meal ticket, since I have a good job and educated and all that jazz.  To a middle class person, I don't make a lot but to a loser, I am rich. 

3) I was always taught never to put all my eggs in one basket.  I was always taught that men are fickle and that this may not be what he is looking for.  Considering the 3 scams I've already gone through in the last 6 months, along with some bully posing as military personnel out of New York, and jerks that don't want substance but rather they want a spinner (Patty Stanger reference).  I've been taught to cast a wide net and see what comes up.

4) Cinderella's Happily Ever After discussion usually causes a guy to bolt.  And I told him this last night.  I told him that if I actually discussed and laid out all my "happily ever after" plans on the table on a first night, usually the guy would just bolt.  I told him that being burned so much, I don't put a lot out on the table on a first date.  I'm not going to put myself through that every time.

So, here's my impression of him through the first date glasses:  I thought him to be very attentive, very attractive, very fun, and very forward (but in an honest way, not an intimidating oversexed type of way).  He's a hard worker and has goals, short and long term, in his life.  He makes his life happen for him.  Not to mention, he has blue eyes and blond hair.  Just absolutely adorable.  **Biggest Plus, his accent isn't so thick that I couldn't understand him.  I get that a lot, and it's a really bad rerun of constantly asking for people to say things again and again, and again. 

I was absolutely flattered to be out with him last night, with him gushing all over me.  But with all my reservations about first dates, being flattered was all I could say. 

He did call me while he was on his way home, and we talked for a good while.  I may not like being on the phone a lot, but this one was different.  But considering we were still on the evening of a first date, I was still a bit reserved.

I hate that I am that reserved about things, but that's all experience, both in love and life.

So, I guess this is a stay tuned to see what happens.