Manners Matter: my stint on Emily Post

Have you ever seen one of these?

So, why am I writing on this? Because I believe Manners Matter, and it affects who you are, what you do and how far you go in life.

What few men realize is that women are actually paying attention to what they do, how they act, and their general deportment prior to accepting a second date, or even a first date.

I can't stand to watch someone pile the used napkins on the table, anything used as a handkerchief on the table, tipping badly, taking too much time with the waitress (they are making tips, so if you're visiting with her, she's not making money), or how much mess they make at the table.

Dining manners are probably the easiest to tell if they can slide into your world.  If they make you uncomfortable while at dinner, chances are they are going to make you uncomfortable other places too.  And guys and gals, it doesn't hurt to buy (and read) a simply etiquette book to find out what is generally accepted.

Now, in reference to people with money:  You can have all the money in the world and lack class and manners, trust me, I've seen it.  You can be poor as church mice and still have valuable manners.  My family happens to be from some very wealthy family heritages, however, due to the stock market amongst other things, did not turn out the rich, wealthy and philanthropic individuals we were trained to be.  However, we are still who we are and our manners let us fit easily into any situation.  Thank you, Mom.

A few tips I highly recommend:

* Make sure you are dressed neatly

* Take a shower (a rolling trash can is so unappetizing)

* Bad breath is a major turn off

* Don't talk about finances on the first couple of dates

* Don't get up in someone's space without an invitation to do so

* Use your fork and knife correctly

* Make sure you use body language correctly (don't waive a taxi down if you don't intend to ride, be quick and concise with the wait staff and don't waste their time)

* The napkin goes in your lap for the meal (not in your shirt!)

* Make sure your hands are clean to be in the communal chip or appetizer bowl (trust me, I don't touch a bowl once I know it's contaminated)

* Make sure to be prompt with your order and don't waste the staff's time with dubious questions that you could Google.  If you want to visit, get a friend or talk to your date.

* and be ready to pay, whatever gender you are.  Girls, if you get an awkward feeling, pay for your meal and jet.  You don't have to putz around with this dude.  Guys, be prepared to pay for the entire meal, unless you specified it was Dutch.  Always be prepared to be the gentleman.

* and please and thank you!

I don't care about elbows, it's a minor relaxed look, but these are the ones I've come across that could really ruin a date. Guys and girls beware.

~M