First Meetings and First Meeting Anxiety

How many people are good at meeting people for the first time?  Then add "Forever" on to that.  Too much pressure? YES!!!!

I put the emphasis on this title because it's true.  I think first dates are becoming meetings with too many hopes and dreams packed into the most awkward moment of our lives.  How many people actually do well with first introductions and immediately being attached at the hip to that person, let alone kissing, and all that a relationship entails.  Slow the hell down, folks. 

They just got to know you, and you want what?

I had a date years ago that didn't make it past the chat after the first date because of what this person was asking (actually demanding) of me.  Like, Dude, I just met you and you want what? 

I think people put wayyyyy too much pressure into a first date.  I like to just have dinner or a drink and visit.  I don't want to jump to a job interview of the person, I don't want to talk about intimate subjects, I don't want to know your family.  None of this should come up on a first date. 

I've been asked to allow access to my Facebook page before the first date.  I always hold off on that, because I have my professional and social life on Facebook.  I'm not going to have someone on my page I have never met in person go in and post all over my wall, view all my pictures, and read some pretty personal stuff.  That's what filters are for, to keep people out.  I don't know you, why would you ask that?

First dates should be meetings of new people: introductions, drinks, good conversation, etc.  You don't have to make a snap decision as to whether this person is going to be the mother of your children (or father of your children) in a 90 minutes or less period.  That's like asking for a mail order bride.  If I wanted to be one of those, I would have signed up for that website. 

It's a headache, and a rollercoaster to put all that into one date.  It's more like getting a chance to merely look at someone before you make the decision to even hold hands with this person.

Things that shouldn't be addressed on a first date, before a first date or within 24 hours of you meeting: When's the wedding? When are we getting pregnant? When do I get to meet your parents? The famous and awkward "I love you." Anything in regards to sexual preferences (this always comes up on initial talks with people on websites, WTH?).  Can you pay for the meal, or at least your own (Guys, if you want to score points, pay for the entire meal, don't fuss that she needs to pay her own.  If a guy invites, he should pay.  If a girl invites, she's generally paying for at least her drink.).

The best way to get a door slammed in your face, a decline of even a first date, or someone having a panic attack is to be planning forever in the first meeting, or planning what hotel to go to.  Nothing says "Forever" like putting the cart before the horse.

So, what should a first date be?  A first date should be a visit, a chat, a drink.  Find out who you are as individuals, hobbies, favorite foods, etc.  You should be able to determine what types of topics you want to discuss due to the amount of talking you should do before the first date.  You should be able to determine whether you want to get to know this guy or not. 

Do not throw in all the pressures of life with a first date, it should never be anything like an arranged marriage- awkward on all accounts, because you haven't met that person before.  You should be able to get two dates in before discussing anything pertinent or private.  Period.