Fish or Cut Bait: When to cut it down to one person to see where it goes

My roommate and I had such a discussion last night. 

So, when do you make one person priority?

First of all, I'm not one to try and cast a wide net, talk to 100 guys at once and not bother getting back to anyone.  I'm one that likes to find someone with similar goals, similar background, a loving family and a good understanding of themselves.  If I don't see that in a person, I simply don't keep them around.  My roommate is the same way.

When I had my first date with my new guy, I was talking to one other person but had yet to meet him.  As the evening progressed, and we made a date for Saturday, I was intrigued that my new guy was actively pursuing me.  The other guy seemed to think I was going to come to him.  He worked weird hours, only wanted to see about making a date on a weekend, and just lazy about the whole thing.  My new guy and I made a date for Saturday, I didn't talk to the other guy (we'll call him Salvador-which isn't his real name, and I forget what his name was anyways) all weekend.  Salvador finally contacted me the following week, after he had missed two weekends of chances to make a date, and I finally told him that I was seeing someone and that I would no longer be responding to contact.  He wished me good luck and left it at that.

My new guy, on our first date, was nervous that he had "competition."  I don't see it that way.  I see it as "who fits better," kinda like trying on pants.  It's not a competition.  If it was, I would have had a check list to win my heart.  The only thing I needed was someone to show me that they cared and they were actively engaged in making a relationship with me, that simple.  I don't put people through a lot of hoops, but I do put them through a first date and expect a second one to even bother with my interest. 

So, my roommate and I were talking last night.  She has been talking to two guys, and the one that she's really interested in and kinda has the same vibe with her asked her how many guys was he competing against.  She was honest that she had just let the other one go, simply because he wasn't what she was looking for, which made the guy breathe a bit better.  They have yet to meet, but even when you don't get the right vibe in texting or phone calls, you don't want to pursue that in person.  It could be a complete disaster.

But here's the thing: if you are casting a wide net, just like everyone else, don't ask questions that will make you anxious, jealous or upset.  If you know it's going to be an answer you don't want to hear or could potentially hear, don't ask it.  I hate it when guys ask me how many people I've dated, how many people I'm talking to and how many people I've been intimate with.  Who cares? If you like me, is my stats really going to matter? 

So, when to fish or cut bait?

When should you cut off all others (forsake all others)?

When you feel that you are in a safe and secure situation with someone you feel could potentially be a mate. 

I don't play around, if I want to be with someone, I won't bother with others and waste my time.  It's not worth the effort. 

The way I did it this time, was "Gee, this guy is genuinely interested in me for me, and he's real.  He didn't put me off like the other guy did."  So, second date, my new guy got the kiss he didn't get on the first date, and he got to watch me light up with the idea of us and the art exhibit he took me to (of his own free will).  He invests in me far more than any man has yet.  And I love it.

I have lovely gifts from him that daily reminds me that I am special to him.  Including this sweet nightlight cube that has some of his texts on it to me.  :)