The ongoing struggle to be questioned for being in your 30's or older, not married and no children. I get this a lot. People wonder why I still don't have children, and that I must be one of those who doesn't want to have children since I've gone this long without them. My answer: "I want them, I'm just not doing it without a partner." In other words, I got smart and made sure to make that abundantly clear to anyone that wants a child with me, you aren't getting one without the vows, dude!
The other part of that is that I must be heartless if I don't have children. I borrowed this posting from elephantjournal.com and thought it was brilliant, so I am sharing it here:
This author notes that though she is single without children, she still has experienced loving a child and watching them grow.
I don't work in the educational field, but I have previously to this career, and I still take time to invest in my "little peeps." The little people in my life may not be directly from my loins, but I make sure that they are still cherished. I have four from a close friend that are now pretty much raised (the youngest now 13, *sniff*). I knew her before she was married, and have heavily invested my heart into the children. I've even been trusted to hold the fort down with all four children, the family roadster, the two dogs and the house while my friend and her husband have a weekend away. I have been there for homeschool events, birthdays, and spend cherished time with reading, and overnighters. These children know that I love them and cherish them as part of my family. My current "little peep" is my darling nephew, who just recently turned 7. Turning 7 was a milestone for him, because now he's into "big boy" stuff. I spend as much time with him as I can, and make sure that he and I have special time that no one else does. For Halloween, his mom taught us how to do carved pumpkins, so he and I got to carve pumpkins together last year. For Christmas, I love doing gingerbread houses, and so he is my little artist- I build it, prepare the frosting, and then he gets to decorate it with pointing to where he wants the frosting. I do all the piping, and he gets to put all the candy on.
Any child that walks into my life is a valued little being.
I decided not to have children without a partner (husband, ring, ceremony, rings, and legal paperwork) because I just felt that wasn't for me or for the path I wanted. I went to college, got a degree, honors and a great job. So, why am I bashed because I didn't have children early?
There are so many walks of life these days, let's choose to live and let live. ~M
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